Bird on a wire...

We have a pet bird in the stationhouse. Well, I say pet bird but really it’s a proper wild bird that has decided to help us with our fly problem. Each day it flies in and perches atop the snapped surf board in the lounge. It scans the terrain and then, in a flutter of delicate wings, zips around the room assassinating insect life. This happens up to four times a day, depending on prey population. And we love it.
However, a couple of weeks ago, I noticed that the same bird (lesser-spotted extroverted Fan Tail) was following me. For a full ten minutes this thing swooped and bowed towards my head as I walked down to the office. It perched on a twig near my shoulder when I stopped to chat to some dudes and then continued to dance its merry jig as I stomped up to clean the toilets. Maybe it’s my anorak? I thought, since it is the same colour as the Fan Tail’s feathers… nah, we already know this bird is smart, I doubt if it would mistake a lanky streak of blonde for one of it’s own.
I settled upon the rather pleasing idea of my having extra special ‘animal-friendly’ powers. Why not? I like cats and dogs and they seem to quite like me… I’ve never really been bitten, anyway. I thought of all the occasions when I had felt some kind of meaningful moment with other creatures. There was that time with the flea-ridden pregnant cat in Mykonos, and what about when that puppy peed up my leg? Surely that meant more than simple bladder relief? Well, it did now.
Then, this morning I had a horrible revelation.; an epiphany of miserable realization; an already crappy day turned more sour.
It’s trying to attack me, isn’t it?
The damn thing is trying to scare me off its territory.
I have no special powers, it isn’t trying to convey a Lassie-type message, “Timmy’s fallen down the well,” at all. It just wants rid of me.
Crazy fly-eating scum. That’s the last time I make whistling noises and coo at your ‘beautiful’ shiny tail. You can swoop and pirouette ‘til the cows come home, this six foot chick is still gonna traipse through your patch, beak-features.