To see or not to see...

I've somehow developed a lazy eye. It's crept up on me over the past few years but until yesterday I was in denial. Browsing through a multitude of digital photos, however, I notice something odd. My right eye is always at half mast...
Lazy!
So that's why I always look two sheets to the wind- and I just thought I had bad flash/blink timing.
Since there's nothing worse than looking smashed when it's actually the one occasion when you were sober - ( & merely the innocent victim of eyelid droopage)- i've taken steps to remedy the situation.
Basically, i'm sitting here with one eye closed.
And that's it.
I don't want to go to the opticians in case they tell me I need glasses.
And anyway, I remember Sharon Smith from St Josephs had an eyepatch to get rid of her idle eye, so it must work.
I even walked back from the beach and stumbled up the windy hostel driveway like this.
It's just like being a bit tipsy. No real concept of distance or what's going on beyond a limited range of vision. Now I walk like i'm drunk and look like i'm crazy.

Why am I so worried about this gippy eye, anyway?

Well, what might prospective employers think?
Lazy eye= Lazy arse
exactly.
I don't want any part of me to be lazy. Uh huh, not me b'wana.
Thing is, during this healing phase of left eye clenched shut and visual perception shot to pieces, I'm far more likely to be run over en route to any interview, nevermind about first impressions.
And even if I did make it to the point where i'm facing the panel, they'd take one look at my winking pirate face and show me the door. (Which i'd probably bang into on the way out...)
And dodgy old blokes keep winking back at me.